Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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