I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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