god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
