there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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