Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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