I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
We had sex on a dog bed..
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
