guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
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