We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
