it was like eating out sand paper
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
