summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
