am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
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