honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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