I think I died a long time ago.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
