There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
