I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
