i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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