OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
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