She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Just cropdusted the office
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
