Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
