Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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