But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
