If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
