i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
