he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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