This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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