do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
