i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
