at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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