Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
