I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
