yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
