I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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