So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
