If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Randomize