Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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