..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
