It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
