Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
We have so much sex to catch up on
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
