I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
