I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Randomize
