If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
