Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
