I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
