Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Randomize
