They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize