i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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