Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
