My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Randomize
