Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
