At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
