Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
