he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
