I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
