no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize
