His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize