Duck Duck Cougar?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
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