absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
