The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
