Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
