you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize