Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize