I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize