The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
