After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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