Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
