why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
